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I had had many issues with self-confidence in the past because of issues I had had with one of my adopted siblings. My parents adopted my two sisters when I was in 8th grade. One of my sisters was my age with the same name, that was just spelt differently. Last year my family went through an issue with a sister of the same age. She had begun a major habit of lying, accusing multiple people with life damaging lies. She was mentally and physically abusive towards my siblings an

Throughout my years in highschool I had received a decent amount of honors and recognition through my volunteerism and work throughout the school and outside of school. The school district I was in does not allow individual grade or GPA awards such as class ranks, valedictorian, honor roll, and so on. The district is very much all about inclusion and doesn’t believe in those kinds of awards and the ones given out are never just for one person. With that I made it my goal to f

At 15, I made myself believe I wasn’t enough. I used to tell myself that nobody would want me because I didn’t look like them. I refused to look at myself in the mirror because I was disgusted by what I saw. I would force myself to go days without eating and when I finally did I would be disappointed in myself. I was disappointed in myself for providing my body with one of its basic needs.  Then if my grades went up and down I’d hate myself even more, because if I can’t be pr

I don't think I have ever been more interested in anything than I have been in the afterlife. I mean, we all know that people die eventually, typically we grow old and then this light comes to get us, telling us we have finished our story. It's scary to think that isn't always the case though, sometimes we lose people before we think their story is over. A few years ago I watched my brother have to deal with losing someone close to him.  Lafrance Johnson and his little brothe

When I was young, I was told only men were strong. But then I saw my Mother carrying a weight like no other and I knew they were wrong. Growing up I don’t think I ever understood how much my Mom sacrificed for me. She wouldn’t do things she wanted to because my siblings or I didn’t want to, giving everything she could to make sure we were given everything we needed and more. She bends over backwards to provide for us but what do we do in return? All she wanted was a family pi

I was in the middle of taking the test that would determine whether or not I passed geometry with an A. I was 3 questions away from being done when a knock at the door interrupted me. At the door stood Mrs. Johnson, one of the school’s guidance counselors. The teacher stood to speak with her. Seconds later, my test was being removed from in front of me. Mrs. Johnson told me to bring my things and follow her. I was confused but did as I was told. She didn’t say anything as I f

I don't think I have ever been more interested in anything than I have been in the afterlife. I mean, we all know that people die eventually, typically we grow old and then this light comes to get us, telling us we have finished our story. It's scary to think that isn't always the case though, sometimes we lose people before we think their story is over. A few years ago I watched my brother have to deal with losing someone close to him.  Lafrance Johnson and his little brothe

This is being worked on over the course of a few days! As a kid, stuffed animals were my favorite thing in the entire world, I used to bring at least one everywhere I went. I remember giving each of them their name and personality, I was treating them as if they were real. However, the older I've gotten the more my imagination ceases to exist. I no longer look at my stuffed animals as if they are real people I can talk to, but that doesn't stop me from still collecting them.

Six years ago, if you had asked me about my sister, I would have told you that she is my best friend. If you asked me now, I would say to you that I haven’t spoken to her in over two years. Don’t get me wrong, we used to be incredibly close. But that changed when I realized to her, I was nothing more than the person who cleaned up her messes. Throughout high school and middle school, I often found myself covering for her, defending her, and trying to fix whatever problem she

I was 15 when I started to feel as if I was falling apart. I was going down a hill and I didn't know how to get back up.  I made myself believe I wasn’t enough. I used to tell myself that nobody would want me because I don’t look like them. I refused to look at myself in the mirror because I was disgusted by what I saw. I would force myself to go days without eating and when I finally did I would be disappointed in myself. I was disappointed in myself for providing my body wi

Mental Pain, while it is less dramatic than physical pain, is more common and also harder to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden. It is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken’.  I wonder if it has to do with the fear we have of others knowing our pain. Because while some people will understand you even when you don’t speak, some won't even when you do.  One of the worst pains is getting hurt by a person you explai

I don’t think I had even been alive for very long when my parents placed a volleyball in front of me, and by the time I was able to walk they had already signed me onto a team. I assume I fell in love with the sport because of how much it had been forced upon me. I turned it into my escape around the age of 15. So much had been going on in my life at the time with my parents fighting for custody of me with my grandparents. Yet even with everything going on in my life, instead

Everyone talks about cutting people off but nobody really talks about the grief that comes with having to stand firm on those decisions. You know it’s not what you wanted but it was necessary for your well-being. Leaving them, letting them go is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Is it because we think we can’t be loved by someone else? Or because we don’t know anything else? The only way to get over someone is to tell yourself they aren’t coming back. Yeah, it hurts, but you

12:05 AM and I’m sitting here wondering if you are thinking of me.  I think of the times we had together, the good ones when we would be together, laughing till the sun rose. But then I think of the negative, all of those arguments I would let go to give you another chance, the way you would speak down on me, how you would leave me in pieces only to come back and destroy me again when I got better, the way you pretended to care about me. I broke my rules for you, only for you

When I was young, I was told only men were strong. But then I saw my Mother carrying a weight like no other and I knew they were wrong. Growing up I don’t think I ever understood how much my Mom sacrificed for me. She wouldn’t do things she wanted to because my siblings or I didn’t want to, giving everything she could to make sure we were given everything we needed and more. She bends over backwards to provide for us but what do we do in return? All she wanted was a family pi

Mental Pain, while it is less dramatic than physical pain, it is more common and also harder to bear. The constant attempt to hide mental pain increases the pain it causes. It is easier to say ‘My head is hurting” than to say ‘My heart is broken’.  I wonder if it has to do with the fear we have of others knowing our struggles. Some people will understand you even when you don’t speak, some won't even when you do. Mental illnesses don’t get discussed as often as they should, t

Just when I thought I had finally forgotten you. Sleep took over and there we were dancing again.   12:05 AM and I’m sitting here wondering if you are thinking of me.  I think of the times we had together, the good ones when we would be together, laughing till the sun rose. But then I think of the negative, all of those arguments I would let go to give you another chance, the way you would speak down on me, how you would leave me in pieces only to come back and destroy me ag

Challenges, keep you alive. Otherwise, life’s nothing but a slow death. Life itself is nothing but a big challenge you must face. Sure it’s hard. But life humbles you. As you grow old, you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things. Alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones. Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal. Throughout life, we face these obstacles, some larger than others, but also some small ones too. It’s a

The hardest goodbyes are the ones you don’t see coming. The ones you don’t plan or could never imagine happening. The ones where you have to say it even though you don’t want to. A heartbreaking pain. A deep realization, that you’ll never see them again. Goodbye was that word I never got to say before they were gone, not many people get the chance to say it one last time. Our final goodbye is when we honor the life they got to have, but it still doesn’t feel the same. The las

This one is a little different because my mind has been a little scrambled lately. This is something thats been on my mind. I was picking my brother up from football practice one day during his 6th-grade season. I was kinda early so I decided to go watch in the stands for a bit. The boys were doing some drills, the ones I had seen my dad coach his players through multiple times before. Nothing was different from these kids to the ones I had seen before doing the same drills,