Little Dragon

This is being worked on over the course of a few days!

As a kid, stuffed animals were my favorite thing in the entire world, I used to bring at least one everywhere I went. I remember giving each of them their name and personality, I was treating them as if they were real. However, the older I've gotten the more my imagination ceases to exist. I no longer look at my stuffed animals as if they are real people I can talk to, but that doesn't stop me from still collecting them. Now in my eyes, they are no longer toys to play with, but instead, they are objects with meanings behind them. There are some from my boyfriend, some from my family and friends, but my favorite of all comes from the night that I said goodbye to my best friend.

The infamous Michael “Mr. Hollister” Barnes had transferred to work at the STL Outlet Mall a month after I had started working there myself. I didn’t get a good first impression of him, I thought he was a dick in all honesty. He had this attitude, arguing anything and everything he possibly could without caring about who he was pissing off in the process. Anytime I arrived at work and saw I was working with him, my mood would immediately drop, he just wasn’t fun to be around. That was until I worked my first closing shift with him, it was just him, our manager Alex, and I. I remember this being a different Michael than the one I had previously met, this version of him was funny and nice to be around. He acted interested in who I was and what I enjoyed, he told me about his family and his dream to join the Air Force, he felt real at that moment. I left that shift with a different opinion of Michael, and I’m glad I did.

Not long after that, he became a brother to me, and I became a sister to him. I remember our shifts together always being so much fun, always being filled with laughter and smiles. Even on the days when the shifts were a little harder, and customers were being too mean, he was always the one to make sure I didn't leave without a smile on my face. I always made sure to return the favor by being there as much as I could when he was struggling mentally. Even though it was terrifying to watch, I made sure he knew I was here for him whenever he needed me. He means a lot to me, and there is no doubt that we both cared about one another. We were there for each other and promised to always support one another no matter what, even if it hurt the other person. So even though I hated the idea of Michael leaving, I stood in his corner and supported him when he started working towards his dream of joining the Air Force.

I knew how much, Michael wanted to join the Air Force, the sparkle in his eyes told me everything I needed to know, he longed for this, he needed it. I wanted nothing more than for him to achieve this. He started meeting with a recruiter and not much longer after that, he was preparing to be shipped off. I was so happy for him, but also sad that I was no longer going to see my best friend. I remember sitting in my bed after my final few shifts with him, wondering what it was going to be like without him there. It’s not as if he is going to be gone forever, but things still won’t be the same.

A couple of days before Michael left, he decided to throw himself a going away celebration. He chose an arcade in this entertainment center called Main Event as our place of celebration. I remember dragging him over to the prize counter and telling him how much I wanted this certain stuffed animal, a pink and orange dragon. He laughed at me, telling me it would take forever for me to gain the number of tickets needed for this prize. I took that as a challenge, we agreed that if both of us gained the amount needed, we’d both get the dragon. For the next 2 hours, we played game after game after game, trying to get as many points as possible, and in the end, we had just barely enough. I was filled with so much joy knowing that I was going to be able to have a memory of this night and have something to tie me to Michael. It gave me this feeling of knowing that he's so far away, but I still have a piece of him with me. I got my dragon, and he was able to get a matching blue and green one. We took pictures holding our prizes, and posing with the other friends that we had brought along with us. In this moment I felt so much joy yet so much sadness because I knew my time with Michael was coming to an end. I never thought it would be this hard to say goodbye to someone but knowing that you won't get to see them tomorrow is heartbreaking. I remember trying not to cry as I looked at Michael, knowing this would be my last time seeing him for a while. I started to walk away but quickly stopped as he yelled at me for not hugging him. I turned around to find him standing in front of me; I looked down, not wanting him to see the sadness that flooded my eyes. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me in as he wrapped his arms around me. We stood there for a minute, waiting to see who would let go first; I knew it wouldn’t be me. I've never wanted to not let go of someone so badly, even though I knew I needed to. His arms fell to his side as he let go of his hold on me, he smiled, told me he loved me, and just like that, he was gone. I looked down at the fluffy pink and orange dragon in my hands, and with tears in my eyes, I smiled; this wasn't just a new piece to my collection, it was a piece of Michael that I still got to keep.

I am not the only one who loves that little dragon as my dog, Kingston, proved when he broke into my room and stole the bright-colored stuffie. Michael had been gone for 4 weeks at this point; I’d just gotten home from work and as soon as I entered the house, I knew something was wrong. The house was silent as no one else was home, only the dog and cat, who had been left alone since earlier that day. Everything seemed to be in its rightful place, but still, it felt as if something just wasn’t right. I started making my way towards my bedroom but was quickly stopped by the sight of Kingston blocking the entrance. The door that I knew was closed before I left was now wide open. Kingston is known for being able to open doors and cause destruction when nobody is home to watch him, and each time he strikes a different room, I guess today was my turn.  Kingston sat there panting as if he had just been running around outside, which was clearly impossible and only made me more curious as to what he had done. I looked down as I entered the room to brace myself for the possible damage he had done, but nothing could have prepared me for this. A mass murder had been committed in my room, only instead of people, it was my stuffed animals. Stuffing was everywhere, remains of the plushies were scattered around the room, no one had been spared of this crime. Kingston walked further into the room, he looked proud of himself, as if he had just done a great deed. I looked around the room, searching for any victims whose injuries weren’t as severe. After salvaging as many as I could, I realized that I hadn't found any remains or parts of a certain stuffed animal, the dragon. Panic grows inside me, I frantically search around the room, looking behind furniture, and under my bed, and yet I still can't find it. I fall onto my bed, feeling ready to give up, I decide to look under my bed just one last time, maybe I had missed something. As I lean my head over the side of the bed, I notice pink and orange fur poking out from the corner. Relief washed over me as I pulled the stuffed animal out from under the bed, the little dragon still had both eyes and all of its body parts. I smiled thinking that Kingston had spared this one, only to turn it over and find a tear down its back.  Disappointment fills me, even though I know it can be fixed, it still hurts. I allow my head to fall against my pillow but immediately, I am hit with discomfort as the thick edge of an unknown object jabs into the nape of my neck. I sit up and find an envelope, addressed to me. It doesn’t take long for me to realize who it’s from, the messy handwriting tells me everything I need to know, Michael.

I sit there, holding the envelope in my lap, staring at the wall in front of me, contemplating whether I wait to open it or not. The desire to know what’s inside is strong, but the uncertainty of what I may read prevents me from tearing open the seal. I look down at the envelope that rests between my hands, I start to think back to before Michael had left, how it felt to have to say goodbye, how it felt to think I’d never hear from him till he got out. I need to read this letter; I can’t wait and leave myself wondering what is inside. Before opening it, I close my eyes and force myself to pause and inhale, to allow the fresh air to fill me so I may release the fearful air from before. I open my eyes, ready to not allow my fear to control me. I take my time, gently peeling the envelope apart, trying to preserve what’s inside. 5 neatly folded pages reside inside, I pull them out and unfold them to reveal the writing hidden inside. Michael's messy handwriting makes it slightly difficult to read without my glasses, but I take my time to make sure I understand every word. He shared with me the emotional roller coaster he's been going through since he got there, telling me about the endless hours of yelling and exercise he must endure. He then goes on to tell me about how he has been mentally, about what he has struggled with, and what he has succeeded with. I smiled as I read this, I knew he would struggle, but I also knew his determination would help him persevere. As I finish the letter, I feel my eyes begin to fill with water; he concludes by sharing how much he misses being able to talk and reminds me of how much he appreciates and loves me. I wish I could say there was more, but he explained that the rushed ending to his letter was the cause of his limited time to write it. I set the papers down next to me and look around the room with a smile on my face, the mess that has yet to be cleaned doesn’t upset me like it had before. I am filled with joy and happiness; any and all positive emotions I could possibly feel, reside within me at this moment. I look back at the papers next to me, knowing I can’t get rid of them, I think of all the places I can hide them, so they stay safe. Out of the corner of my eye, a familiar pink and orange fluff catches my attention. I grab the little dragon, remembering the tear along its back; maybe instead of fixing its injuries, I could use its opening as a place to hide this new valuable. I look back and forth between the bright-colored animal and the papers next to me. I set the dragon down on my lap and pick up the papers, I carefully fold them, ensuring there is no damage done. I then slide them into the back of the stuffed animal, placing it perfectly in the middle of the fluff; using a safety pin, I then close the opening, ensuring the letter's safety. I turn over the little dragon and smile, who knew you take something that already means a lot and make it mean so much more?  Maybe Kingston knew; everything does happen for a reason I suppose.

I miss Michael so much, but I am even more proud of him. He has since finished and graduated from both boot camp and tech school. I still remember sitting in the doctor’s office, watching his graduation from a grainy livestream; when they called his name, I was unable to control my excitement, everyone in the waiting room was staring at me, but I didn’t care. Supporting him while he chased his dream is something I will never regret and promise to continue doing so.

Distance is hard, I will never deny that the distance is hard. Whether he is 691.3 miles away and unable to call or text, or he is 351 miles away but able to talk whenever it is still going to be hard. But looking at that silly little dragon and knowing he is following his dreams, knowing he is happy, made it so much easier.

I will always care about Michael; nothing can change that. He’s my best friend, he means the world to me, and I will always be here for him. I just hope he knows how proud of him I truly am. I love you, Mikey, don’t ever stop following your dreams.