Relationships pt. 2

Everyone talks about cutting people off but nobody really talks about the grief that comes with having to stand firm on those decisions. You know it’s not what you wanted but it was necessary for your well-being. Leaving them, letting them go is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Is it because we think we can’t be loved by someone else? Or because we don’t know anything else? The only way to get over someone is to tell yourself they aren’t coming back. Yeah, it hurts, but you cannot remove a person from your bones while your hands are still shaking.  It’s not like you have to have a sense of regret for meeting them or staying with them, but to regret tolerating the ways they hurt us. We can’t blame them for not loving us, we can only blame them for pretending they did. No person has the right to rip your heart out of your chest and decide how much you are allowed to bleed.  In the end, it’s not about who wants you, it's about who values and respects you. Sometimes the realization that we deserve more is the hardest piece of wisdom to accept. But also accepting you may never fully understand why they did what they did is a part of healing. There is more to you than this pain and there is more to your life than the one who caused it. You'll always feel like you could have done more. But that's your trauma talking. You did enough. And now, it's time for you to let go and honor what you deserve.

I really wanted it to be you, I so badly wanted it to be you. Until I understood you didn’t want it to be me. Sometimes, you cross my mind and I find myself immersed in memories of you--the tender words, the heartfelt promises. It almost feels like a distant dream now. I'm not angry, not mad, or bitter either. I just see things clearer now.  I miss you deeply, wondering how you're doing, where life has taken you, and if everything worked out as you hoped. I sincerely hope that things are going well for you and that you're happy. Perhaps, someday, our paths will cross again, and there won't be any grievances or complaints in our hearts, or maybe not. But I do believe that whatever happens is always for the best, which is why our story didn't unfold as we once imagined. Perhaps, there was no one to blame; we simply weren't destined for each other, and I have finally come to accept that. It's a liberating experience, you know, to release the lingering hope of our connection and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead. By letting go I found love and freedom. I finally found myself and each end was just a new beginning 

It took me a long time to realize that not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every person we feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us, is meant to be forever. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how to love; and sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how not to love. How not to settle, how not to shrink ourselves ever again. Yes, sometimes people leave but that's okay, because their lessons always stay, and that is what matters. That is what remains.